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So today is the first day that  I am using the pink patch.  I hope it works.  It's only a free trial for 6 days.  but still... they say its supposed to start working immediately....

i  can already feel the difference in my appetite.  I haven't been hungry at all... which is AWESOME! and i'm at work right now but as soon as work is over i'm going to be going to the gym... i even brought my workout clothes with me so i can go straight there!! i plan to burn atleast 1,000 calories!  

so far today all i've had is 190 calories.

And for dinner I plan on nothing.. unless my boyfriend makes me.  hes always making me eat cuz he loves to eat so much... 

and his family loves to eat too... so when we go to his aunt n uncles house they just pour out the food and pile ur plate high whether u want it or not!

but i'm going on a cruise in less than 2 months and i need to get into the best shape i possibly can before then.  i don't want to be the fat girl on the cruise.. seeing as its nelsons ENTIRE FAMILY!

well i better get back to work.  were holding a service for a resident who passed last week... RIP...

Hopefully the pink patch will work its magic on me!

xoxo  Think Thin
so far im doing really good... although.. i gave up on the 2468 because it was sooo hard to keep track of what day i was on.. lol...

but i'm doing really well.. i've been at the gym for atleast 2 hours everyday.. and i've already lost 3 pounds... i'm really excited.. i want to lose atleast 20 pounds by my birthday... hopefully i can do it... were going to seaworld's new waterpark called aquatica for my birthday.. my boyfriend and all my friends are going with me! i need to look good in a bikini...

not to mention.. my boyfriends cousin used to be sooo much fatter than me.. but now.. shes the same size as me.. and i can't be the fat girl on the cruise! my boyfriend will be made fun of... she can't be skinnier than me... NO EATING!!! ONLY WORKING OUT! shes lost 12 pounds!!!! and now she weighs the same as me!!! this is horrrrrrible!!! (for me not for her)...
200 day

Breakfast: Redbull Sugarfree 10 cals
Snack: Redbull Sugarfree 10 cals
Lunch: Chicken Noodle Soup from Subway 80 Cals
Snack: Redbull Sugarfree 10 cals
Dinner: Chicken Noodle Soup again 80 cals
Adderall to study for exams along with a Sugar free redbull!

I'm addicted to redbull.. its awful!

total=200 cals!

decided i'm going to start the 2468 tomorrow instead of my other calorie set... and i will repeat the Cycle until May 15

Monday April 21- 200
Tuesday April 22- 400
Wednesday April 23- 600
Thursday April 24- 800
Friday April 25- Fast
Saturday April 26- 200
Sunday April 27- 400
Monday April 28- 600
Tuesday April 29- 800
Wednesday April 30- Fast
Thursday May 1- 200
Friday May 2- 400
Saturday May 3- 600
Sunday May 4- 800
Monday May 5- Fast
Tuesday May 6- 200
Wednesday May 7- 400
Thursday May 8- 600
Friday May 9- 800
Saturday May 10-Fast
Sunday May 11- 200
Monday May 12- 400
Tuesday May 13- 600
Wednesday May 14- 800
Thursday May 15- Fast

Current Weight: 148
Goal Weight by end of 2468: 135
25 days to lose 13 pounds
2.6 pounds must be lost in each cycle

148 this morning...

this stress from school is killing me...

i gues i have to stay at the gym longer and eat less... which means nothing!

i can do it! no food today.. and tomorrow will be 300 cals or less... i started a new food diary on fitday.com its awesome. it keeps track of everything I ate, how much i weigh each day, my weight goals, exactly how many calories i burned. i love it!

i went home to Chicago for a week to spend time with my dad and baby brother.... oh it was soooo much fun... although when  I go home it is hard to keep on an ana diet... especially with my dad... he loves food.. although i am very proud of daddy.. even he lost 15 pounds!!!

anyway... being up there I couldnt use the computer or LJ... so here i am.. back at work a week later and able to finally write to LJ again...

I ate so much when i was back home... i hated it!  its okay though because i'm starting a fast today!  all i'm having is iced tea.. WHEN NECESSARY!  i plan to stick to it through the weekend.  and then monday its 300 calories or less for 3 days and then 200 calories or less for 2 days and then next weekend it will be 100 calories or less for 2 days and then that monday through friday will be a 5 day fast!

monday: 300
Tuesday: 300
Wednesday: 300
Thursday: 200
Friday: 200
Saturday: 100
Sunday: 100
MONDAY THRU FRIDAY: 0000000000000000000000  FASTING 0000000000000000000000000

i work until 4 today and then i have to take my boyfriend to work and then i can go to the gym.. i think my boyfriends cousin is going to work out with me.. which i always enjoy because her and i look and weigh the same... so shes a good competition to work out with.. although shes been doing really well with her food journal and i havent... i need to print one out for the next week so i can keep track of my cals.... and hopefully beat her out this week and lose 1 pound more than her!!!!


 i'm so blah today... 
i'm at work.
but would rather be sleeping.
when i sleep.
i don't eat.

time goes fast.
when i sleep.
when i fast.
i want time to go by fast.
to fast i must sleep.

and exercise of course.



She's never been the one who's been called
"Pretty" or "Beautiful"
Always thought of as "Special" or "Unique"
Even if she heard it
It's all lies to her
And she doesn't even want to try anymore
The only thing she'll focus on
Is becoming more invisible everyday
No matter what it takes
And she'll never worry
Because she can always think to herself
Who am I hurting if they can't see me anyway?
It's not a habit anymore
It's a lifestyle
She didn't ask for this life
But she worked for it
She'll regret nothing but everything at the same time
Invisible's not good enough when the option of gone is achievable
She could cry for days at a time
But only she can pretend tears never fell from her eyes.
Once they're dry, it's all a secret.
Along with everything else she's ever done or said.
Only she could think of an advantage.
No one will miss me.

150.  exactly.

i suck.

i am stupid.

i am fat, ugly, pathetic.

things will get better this week.

i will be at the gym 5 am monday morning.  maybe. even tomorrow night.

i work tomorrow.  then i will workout.

so today... i said i would be on the 2nd day of my fast... but.. i'm a fuck up... my boyfriend made me eat dinner last night.. PIZZA OF ALL THINGS TOO!... so today i've been drinking only water all day... i hate me.... i'm grossssssss